Trask Avenue

I recently got a free three month subscription to SiriusXM Radio, recently being last week. I am currently heart-deep in the honeymoon stage. You know how it is. Just thinking about your new beloved gets the adrenaline zipping through your veins like Gary Busey through a residential neighborhood. A mere passing thought makes you wonder how you ever possibly managed to get this far with them not at you side while conversely begging yourself to dismiss any thoughts of imagining a life without them in the future. I’m telling you, it is the stuff of fairy tales and daytime drama. All because of radio. Whodathunk?

As we more experienced folks like to say, it wasn’t all that long ago when most everything was radically different. Television, gas prices, phones tethered to the wall, a Kardashian free existence – many of us remember these clearly, if with a bit of sepia tinted nostalgia. Thanks to the evil geniuses at SiriusXM I can now add Radio to this decidedly fogeyish thought process.

Now I’m not going to sit here and babble on about how radio used to be. I’m not going to moon about the days when Top 40 stations had disc jockeys with actual personality, when news radio did radical things like report news, when FM stations played music by people who could do weird things like write songs, sing and play musical instruments. I’m not going to be the guy who wonders what happened the concept of radio stations having distinct identities rather than just being homogenized versions of each other. Don’t look to me to bemoan the disappearance of regional flavor and flair across the radio dial as you traveled the nation’s roads. And I am certainly not going to waste anyone’s time bitching about the lack of anything resembling originality on 98% of the stations broadcasting out there. I respect your time too much to go on and on and on about such things, things which have been analyzed to death by people more informed and erudite than me. We all have better things to do than be burdened by this type of rant. Especially from me. So I refuse to do it.

Instead, let’s sing the praises of SiriusXM. The first thing which pops out is the enormous variety of music, talk, sports and other assorted radioland goodies available. It’s pretty staggering. Do you like 80’s music? There’s a station for you! Enjoy a nice show tune? Look no further! Big fan of the Grateful Dead? Hey, you can listen to them 24/7! Whatever your pleasure there is a station (or several) dedicated to satisfying your bizarre desires. From Siriusly Sinatra (Frank and other standard bearers crooning away) to BB King’s Bluesville (hard-core blues from the dawn of music recording up until this very minute) to Laugh USA (more marginal comedy than you could ever hope to inflict on a friend – or enemy for that matter) to BBC World Service (for news which sounds totally relevant and vital because it is read by someone with a refined British accent) to Ozzy’s Boneyard (yeah, I’m not fond of the image that conjures either) to Deep Tracks (those wholly obscure album tracks you never hear on the radio) to 90’s on 9 (every lithium induced, mosh pit jewel from the decade that brought us the 1990’s), there is something for you. And the kicker? It is all commercial free!

Sometimes too much of anything is simply that – too much. Such may be the case with SiriusXM. By the time my freebie period expires I may feel that way. However, regardless of what may happen this much is clear: I am honeymooning my arse off right now. I know this is true because today, less than a week into our burgeoning lovefest, I checked out SiriusXM’s subscription prices. “Pay for radio!” you cry. “Have you lost your mind?” If asked this question a week ago I would have scoffed along with you. But you know how it is when you are newly in love. Money don’t mean a thing, especially if it got that swing!