like the weather

Posted: September 29, 2011 in Humorous Bits
Tags: , , ,

Word around the chatterbox promises good sleeping weather tonight. Finally. The past several nights have been horribly uncomfortable. Talk about oppressive humidity. The air sat like a lead jacket on everyone’s chest. The troposphere hasn’t been this heavy on the east coast since Hendrix blew minds at Woodstock, man. The temperature is not cooperating either. It’s not quite hot enough to justify popping on the central a/c, so the fan’s been working overtime circulating the molten glop masquerading as breathable air. Yet it’s not quite cool enough to endure a blanket or sheet for a stretch longer than five minutes. But you’d try, oh how you’d try! The sleep cycle starts with the covers in full bloom until the stifling reality of reality puts you into sweatatopic shock, then off they go until the leaden breeze kicked up by the fan eventually chills your bad damp self. When the covers are pulled back up the cycle of futility is established. Come dawn your sleepy time consisted of flipping, rolling and tossing more than berserk acrobat on a three day bender.

Of course humidity is natural when you’ve experienced the kind of extreme wet weather pattern we have for the past couple of months. This includes Hurricane Irene who sambaed through in August with the zeal of a Carnival dancer. Instability is the key word and today was no exception. The morning was humid and a bit warm for late September. The clouds shuffled in around 11:00 until finally amassing enough punch to spit out rain. Not a soft, lilting rain either. Imagine the great power in the sky, the Being of All Beings, turning its high-pressure fire hose to max and spraying the muddied earth, all the time cackling with laughter masked as thunder. At one point it looked as if Noah drifted by. The constant SPLATTER-SPLATTER-SPLATTER against the building sounded like an army of angry tap dancers practicing on sheets of tin while simultaneously bashing cymbals. We worked through a few bouts of this heavenly car wash during the early afternoon until the storms eventually passed, revealing the sun in all its golden glory. Better still was the arrival of refreshingly cool, dry air. Hallelujah!

The mold spores or tree pollen or whatever nasty little bugaboos kicking everyone’s allergies into overdrive these past several weeks are still hanging around. That’s okay. The promise of a clear autumnal night makes them seem like nothing more than mild nuisance. Sweet, sweet slumber, prepare thyself. An anxious devotee will soon embrace you, covers and all.

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