Archive for the ‘Humorous Bits’ Category

jackass parade

Posted: August 20, 2016 in Humorous Bits
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We join the monthly Jackass Parade already in progress with our commentators Leslie and Bill.

Leslie:  Remember how he served his wife divorce papers when she was in the hospital fighting cancer? That was some memorable jackassery!

Bill:  Hold that thought, Leslie. Here comes Ryan Lochte. I think he’s bleached his hair even lighter. Listen to those jeers and boos. The crowd is (more…)

tools

A craftsman I am not, although I can use some tools to complete certain tasks without major injury or property damage. Give me a pair of pliers and I will grip or twist or bend whatever needs gripping, twisting, or bending. Give me a screwdriver and I will screw and unscrew until (more…)

trump 6

We all know Donald Trump will slap his name on anything to make a buck. And if you give him enough bucks he will let you slap his name on your stuff. We endlessly hear about his steaks, airline, vodka, bottled water, magazine, and university. His resorts peddle (more…)

I love sleep, probably a bit too much. I should clarify. I love a good long sleep, many hours of bliss when my mind wanders, my eyes flutter and, on occasion, my leg twitches as if given electroshock therapy. But a good long sleep does (more…)

Before the mid-20th century decorative art was the exception, reserved for those looking to exalt wealth and status. Back then walking through a well-appointed manor was like strolling through an eclectic gallery accompanied by a guide with the social awareness of a melon and the subtlety of a gorilla.

Just minding my own business...

I was just minding my own business…

“I shot this big fella during a safari on the Serengeti two summers ago,” the host bragged while pointing at (more…)

Many of you think my kind lead glamorous lives filled with adventure and intrigue, lives that take us to strange and exotic places, lives that brighten people’s days and accelerate their nights. Many of you assume we are surrounded by joy since you imagine everyone who comes into contact with us does so under the happiest of circumstances. I am here to tell you if that is what you imagine then your imagination is (more…)

Generally, I am more decisive than not. I do not look to foist my opinions upon people, nor do I especially want to coerce them into following a path I dictate. But when faced with an abundance of indecisiveness swirling around like a drunken Tasmanian Devil I have no trouble stepping in and making decisions, fallout be damned. (Ha! Like there is ever fallout.) This ability to pick a direction, state and act upon it is not something I often think about, much like footwear. Frankly, my interest in this sort of self-examination is about the same as (more…)

The smart money says the British have moved on since losing the war for the American colonies. Holding a grudge is one thing, but holding one for 230 years is quite another and the Brits have better things to do. Sure the war was humiliating, usurped by a ragtag group of rebels using unconventional (some may even say dirty) tactics while engaging in the honor bound pastime of systematically (more…)

Personal resolutions are fine and all, but let us make this year’s resolution making season different. Forget the individual promises. Instead let us make giant group resolutions, ones which we are pre-disposed to achieve, ones which once achieved will allow us to puff out our communal chest with pride and loudly proclaim, “Yes, all of us did all of that!” Who doesn’t want to feel that sense of (more…)

Every Friday, much to my doctor’s and Aarón Sanchez’ infinite dismay, I lunch at Taco Bell. Twas a time when this meal would include heaping servings of cheese and refried beans, for what is Mexican food without the delicious anticipation of firing up a defibrillator? It’s like Frida without Diego, Mumford without sons, aid without abet. But in a quest to be better to my body I have (more…)