Trask Avenue

…if computer programmers descended from Mayans bothered with any date beyond 2012 during the whole Y2K mash-up.
…where all the weight people lose goes. Does it linger in the air waiting to latch onto someone else?
…why they call cities in New Jersey and a county in New York “Orange” when they obviously don’t grow oranges.
…if I continue to drink this much tea will I find myself at the center of a tea intervention?
…if The Decemberists will ever do a cover of Weezer’s December.
…why “it’s all for one and one for all” and “we’re all in this together” and “there’s no I in teamwork” except when it comes to helping the less fortunate.
…if watching Downton Abbey is a pleasure or addiction.
…if teaching a hungry man to fish so he can eat for a lifetime is a good idea if you don’t first give him a fishing pole.
…why people who scream the loudest about the way other people conduct their lives are inevitably the people doing the things they self-righteously protest.
…if Cee Lo Green and Christina Ricci reproduced would the T-Rex shortness of his arms and the interesting excesses of her head cancel each other out?
…if it says far more about the parents than it does their 15 year old daughter who dissed them on Facebook by resorting to public humiliation as a way to punish her.
…if doodles doodled by Red when she was four will be priceless works of art in 500 years.
…why Asian folks don’t adopt Caucasian babies.
…when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, is that really amore?
…if cats greedily eat a product called “Whiskas” would humans greedily eat a product called, well, “Whiskers”?
…if you needed to turn left while driving in the southern hemisphere should you actually turn right?