Trask Avenue

The unseen are immersed in scurrilous activities. They are working hard on propagating their ongoing and ultimate conspiracy: the conspiracy which makes us think everything else is a conspiracy. But they can’t fool me. I know their game; I sense their charade. Their sleight of hand is a tangible thing, like static electricity. When I hear doubts raised by otherwise reasonable people about the hidden sequence of events surrounding a straight-forward occurrence, when they shout “there’s something else going on here!”, when I’m told an invisible reality simmers below the surface orchestrated by a small efficient army of men in fedoras my leg starts with the nervous jimmies. Restless Leg Syndrome is in the house, baby, and it’s screaming that the conspiracy conspirators are once again infiltrating our lives. RLS is my fail safe, my personal Geiger counter against the radiation of those who seek to mess with our minds. Oh no, they can’t fool me. Not by a long shot.

Others may buy into their freaky games, may fall for the old psychological double reverse. It’s a familiar ruse. Make the population doubt what they see, feed into their latent fears about being on the outside looking in, and give them the tools to piece together their own unfounded conclusions. Next thing you know, everyone rejects the truth in pursuit of a wisp of imagination. Full paranoia is engaged. We become our own enemy.

Why do the conspiracy conspirators conspire to make us think everything is a conspiracy? It obvious, isn’t it? To keep us off-kilter, to divert our attention from where it should really be. So they tease us with tales of smoke on the grassy knoll, Roswell aliens, subliminal messages in advertising, mind-management through water fluoridation, secret societies, fake moon landings, surveillance via the internet. Anything to churn our energies in pursuit of dissipating vapor. They tell us nothing is what it seems. It’s all a house of mirrors. Crisscross.

Don’t fall for it. Don’t drink from the tainted water. Don’t let them pollute your mind. If everything were a conspiracy then nothing would be a conspiracy. Up is down and left is right. Remember there is only one conspiracy and you’re too smart to buy into it. Now move a little to the left. I’d like to see your face.