You know what’s happened, don’t you? We snatched the exclusive world of superlatives, recklessly threw it into the combustible core of the web, and watched it blow apart in a way that would have made Robert Oppenheimer proud.
As willing participants in this weird alternate universe called the Blogosphere you can’t help but notice the epidemic of exceptional praise for unexceptional performance. (To be fair it extends far beyond our little bloggy neighborhoods.) This misuse of language reaches its nasty tentacles everywhere, much like a cockroach intrusion. You only need to see one to know thousands of similar vermin scurry about unseen. The notion of using appropriate praise at the appropriate time has blasted right past the exceedingly pervasive into the exceedingly perverse. This cultural phenomenon strode into town, staked a claim on Main Street and proceeded to smack common sense upside the head, sending it sprawling like an old man whose cane was violently snatched away. It is everywhere. If you participate at all in the glut which oozes from every corner of the web, either as a contributor or an observer, you can’t escape it.
And it’s so easy to perpetuate, isn’t it? Our obsession to be part of the conversation, quite often with sincere intentions, has cheapened the language. If a person does something mildly clever they are lavished with a flurry of effusive absolutes that would make Alexander Fleming blush. He never got the kind of praise you regularly see on the web. And he invented penicillin. Although I suppose thinking about penicillin isn’t as freaking awesome as watching some skateboard dude execute an Aileron roll.
Read the comments wherever you surf the net. Without fail you will see words like “brilliant”, “genius”, “amazing”, “unbelievable”, and “astounding” tossed about like a baseball at Yankee Stadium. A guy in Ohio smashes an egg on his buddy’s head at a party then posts the video on YouTube. Amazing! Another guy regurgitates advice on his blog which was given to the first child by the first parent. Remarkable! A woman makes a few pithy observations about stuff learned in 8th grade. Brilliant! Hey, I think double-checking your résumé for spelling errors before sending it out is a fine idea too. But instead of defaulting to an adjective used to describe the works of Mozart, shouldn’t we pause just for a second and consider using something more appropriate? Because when we use superlatives to describe everything they eventually end up meaning nothing.
And here I thought you finally decided to write a post about me, since everyone seems to think I’m so great and shit. I’m glad you realize I’m not quite as awesome as everyone thinks.
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There’s always exceptions!
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No, no. No back-pedaling now. You stuck a bowie knife in my heart and just twisted it.
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Did I say you were an exception? (Twists the steel edge a bit more.)
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Wow. What did I ever do to you?
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I recognize when I cannot win a light-hearted, joking and saractic back and forth volley. Well played, Sparkly, well played!
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🙂 And here you almost had me believing you didn’t think I was special….
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In the nasty world of insulting paparazzi and horrid headlines about has-beens and horrific performances, I’ll take the awesomely brilliant praise as a sign of the shifting universe being made possible by the Mayans and their 2012 doomsday prediction. How’s that for an all over the place comment. By the way – you’re a genius.
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What was that last bit again?
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A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.
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I shoulda used that title, but Eggers beat me to it.
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What? I thought we really were all brilliant…and amazing AND delightful.
🙂
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Yessir. 😉
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Well, WE ALL are. It’s the others who aren’t!
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Whew!
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It’s quite a relief, isn’t it?
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I can sleep good now!
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I think you missed your calling. You could be that guy who debunks things with a healthy dose of common sense. Genius 🙂 LOL !
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I tell you, the “Dear Trask” thing (April 17) is where my millions will come from!
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You mean a post you made on 4/17? I must have missed that one… Well look at Dear Abby… hey! Dear Trask has a nice ring to it LOL 🙂
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But is it a million dollar ring?
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Whose to say not? Hugh Heffner’s ex-girlfriend wrote a book and now has her own TV show…
I’d say the sky’s the limit. Oh. Wait. Need I reference the other TV show? Jersey Shore? 🙂
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Jersey shore. ACK!
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I mean, I remember back in the day, people were doing all this 30 years ago. Nothings changed except they’re getting paid to do it on TV.
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Apparently I came along at the wrong time!
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LOL 🙂 You probably missed it, which is good. 🙂
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Interesting post. I’ve often felt the same way about the use of superlatives in comments. Of course, it could be that the commenters have a limited vocabulary or such an unfailing positive outlook on life that everything they encounter is awesome, like this post.
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Very measured, even-tempered response by a good, dare I say very good, blogger.
By the way, the use of the word “interesting” is always…well, interesting…because it has so many possible interpretations. Therefore, let me restate and say this was a very measured, even-tempered response by an interesting blogger.
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I could say you’re freakin’ awesome, but my thinly veiled sarcasm would delight and amaze you into thinking I didn’t mean it. Wait…what? So, all I’ll say is ‘yep’.
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Sarcasm, thinly veiled or not, is always welcome here!
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Great! I’ll just make myself at home, then.
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Take off your shoes before you step on the rug.
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Always, and I use a coaster.
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Damn straight you do!
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Well said, sir.
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Ooooo, I like your restraint!
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“Awesome” post! Please acknowledge my pathetic existence by leaving a comment to my comment … that’s really what it’s all about.
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Comment commented upon, as requested. Next!
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Awesome, dude! No, seriously.
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What you really mean is “This is the greatest thing ever written.” Right?
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Yes, but saying something like “I think this post is total shit!” is so much more fun and has so much more UMPF then something more precise like, “yeah I can see what you’re trying to say but I think it’s more complicated then that.”
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Point well taken!
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This reminds me of a scene from The Incredibles –
“Mother: Everybody is special.
Dash : Which means nobody is.” or something like that.
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I have no doubt many of my thoughts are Pixar influenced. Squirrel!
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Nothing, nothing, and more nothing! Seriously, I loved this sentence: “This cultural phenomenon strode into town, staked a claim on Main Street and proceeded to smack common sense upside the head, sending it sprawling like an old man whose cane was violently snatched away.”
And there we have it: that concept of common sense again.
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That pesky common sense, always trying to assert itself.
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I am getting the urge to type fantas…nope, I won’t do it. No smart ass comments because you are right.
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Mmmmm, orange Fanta.
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These are brilliant observations, awesomelessly expressed by a blogging genius. That aside, yes, I agree. I cringe when I see some of the stuff people post on facebook, tired old words that sound like those “Inspiration A Day” calendars. And people fall all over themselves about how deep and amazing the words are.
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I just wonder what’s left to say when something truly spectacular occurs.
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I’m afraid to comment…
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Don’t be. “Genius” works perfectly here.
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