hey yo! thou shalt enter stage left

Posted: July 30, 2012 in Observations and Commentary
Tags: , , , , ,

So a passel of enterprising souls thought it time to publish a retranslated version of The Bible, something a little more palatable to our impatient and non-understanding American sensibilities. Is there a better way to help the guide the aimless than reissue The Bible – you know, The Word of God – as part novel, part screenplay? That is exactly what the creative folks at Ecclesia Bible Society have done with The Voice. No, Christina Aguilera is nowhere to be found in this reimagining. Which is just as well. It is difficult to picture Eve or Sarah or any of the Marys as a platinum blonde, although with his long hair, beard thing going on Blake Shelton as Jesus is not much of a stretch. The extent of his ability to change water into wine remains a mystery.

It is not the first time The Bible has been gussied up. From the New American Standard Bible to the Good News Translation to the King James Version to the New King James Version this book of books sets the gold standard for makeovers. It makes total sense we have a Hollywood Version, what with Tinseltown being the cultural epicenter of personal makeovers. How closely this latest incarnation resembles what was written all those millennia ago is so not the point. What matters is this holiest of holy tomes is now easier to digest than a water cracker. New words and phrases have been inserted and, in some cases, the order of the verses changed to make the story read better. Is this a great country or what? Whatever the modifications, hopefully Noah is still battling a devestating flood and Lot’s wife still turns to a pillar of salt because sometimes you cannot beat the original. Now if only Hollywood understood this seminal truth when it came to movies. Don’t laugh. Miracles can happen!

  1. rangewriter says:

    What’s really sad is that so many people around the globe look to “the bible” (whatever one they find holy) and believe that ephemeral interpretation to be the “word of god,” written in stone and irrefutable and worthy of killing and being killed for.

    “New words and phrases have been inserted and, in some cases, the order of the verses changed to make the story read better.” Nothing new under the sun. The makeovers have been going on since before the great prophet even died.


  2. kayjai says:

    Oh, dear. I wonder if they handed over any of the re-writes to Ricky Gervais?? Hehehe….


  3. sparklebumps says:

    Yeah, they read The Message at my church, and I hate it. t just doesn’t sound as pretty as the King James Version…..


  4. Linda Sand says:

    I watched clips from a movie made of the Book of Mark where they used only the precise words of the Bible. I was amazed at how much I learned from the pacing and visuals. I’d like to see the whole thing someday.


  5. Unless Adam Levine is singing it, I’m not interested. In the tome, I mean. I’m always interested in your posts.


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