Posts Tagged ‘random’

no room at the inn

Posted: September 20, 2011 in Uncategorized
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Tonight my head feels like it cannot hold one more thought. Literally. If a single idea somehow managed to force its way in excess words would start shooting out of my ears like steam from an overheated radiator. My brain is filled with such a ridiculous amount of trivial gibberish, along with the occasional fully formed concept to spice things up, that I’ve run out of storage space. At least it feels that way.

I glaze over news stories with Teflon efficiency. I watch television shows requiring absolutely no effort, just the ability to react with a primal laugh when (more…)

the nap trap

Posted: September 14, 2011 in Humorous Bits
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We’ve all experienced that moment when we’re so tired and our usual bedtime seems so impossibly out of reach that the only recourse is taking a nap. Nothing long, nothing extravagant. Just enough to revitalize and allow us to get through the remainder of the day convincingly enough that everyone actually thinks we’re interested in what’s happening around us. Maybe all you need is a Power Nap, 10-15 minutes of shuteye from which you explode as if (more…)

65,000 reasons to leave your lover

Posted: September 8, 2011 in Observations and Commentary
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A 42 year-old woman in the Netherlands was recently arrested for stalking her 62 year-old ex-boyfriend. The charge alleges she phoned him 65,000 times over the course of a year. This figure was determined after police seized her cell phone and computer and their techies performed whatever voodoo they do to extract this type of information. When confronted with this total she claimed 65,000 calls were not excessive. Interestingly enough, the man claimed (more…)

maximum potential

Posted: August 31, 2011 in Observations and Commentary
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We’ve all imagined a glamorous life on the underbelly of the law if, for no other reason, to spice things up. It’s not just me, right? It seems a common enough fantasy. Plan and execute a brilliant caper (victimless, of course) that will reap untold riches and rewards in the form of uncut, easily fenced jewels without any of the nasty blowback associated with getting caught, arrested and prosecuted. Especially right before a holiday weekend.

As horrifying as thought of getting caught is, the specter of jail time is what actually (more…)

have you heard?

Posted: August 26, 2011 in Observations and Commentary
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The interwebs, man they fill our little minds like tithers fill the coffers. They expand our lives in so many ways it would be futile to try to count ‘em. Just think of all the information floating around in the netherworld waiting to be snatched by our dancing fingertips, much like a wallflower sits glued to a rickety wooden chair silently waiting for a dance. Certainly a lot of stuff bouncing about out there reveals new depths of (more…)

how to spot a new jerseyan

Posted: August 22, 2011 in Humorous Bits, New Jersey
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When we open our mouths we New Jerseyans can be pretty easy to spot. But not for reasons you may imagine. To risk sounding mildly defensive we’re not all like the bastardized versions of the New Jersey vox populi which graces America’s reality television landscape. Despite Jerseylicious, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jersey Couture, Cake Boss, Jersey Shore and the occasional dip into Seaside Heights by MTV with one of their summer concoctions, most of us don’t tawk like dem. Sorry to report, but we basically sound like you. Unless you’re straight out of central casting for Steel Magnolias. Sure, you’ll hear an occasional (more…)

blind desperation post

Posted: August 18, 2011 in Arts
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This is what is commonly referred to as a “Blind Desperation Post.” It’s a sticky and humid Thursday night. In less than 12 hours I’ll be back at work. During these upcoming less than 12 hours I want to accomplish several things.  

– Write this frickin’ blind desperation post
– Check my Flickrworld to (a) ensure it hasn’t blown up and (b) experience a pang of regret for not having taken any photos today
– Semi-reluctantly pop onto Facebook to see if (more…)

little verse

Posted: July 24, 2011 in Uncategorized
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I write this little poem
to kill a little time
with little inspiration
I make a little rhyme

critical thinking

Posted: July 20, 2011 in Arts
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For a while back in University I considered pursuing a career as a cultural critic of some sort. I joined the student newspaper and began reviewing movies and music, throwing in an occasional sports piece for variety. Gradually, I moved away from film criticism and stuck with music. After all, as much as I enjoyed movies, I loved music even more. I took pride in my awareness of what was going on in those places the music scene was exploding, the seedy nightclubs of London, New York and Los Angeles. The fact I never went to those clubs was beside the point. I was on the (more…)

adjusting to a brave new world

Posted: June 27, 2011 in Humorous Bits
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This past weekend I finally took the plunge into the world of multi-functional handheld devices. No, I didn’t get a pen that doubles as a laser pointer. Nor did I purchase a plastic egg containing the wildly versatile Silly Putty. (It stretches! It bounces! It copies ink off newspapers!) As much fun as those things are, I ventured in a different direction, plunging headfirst into 2011 with an iPhone4. What an amazing device! Let me tell you, there’s nothing like (more…)

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