I love sleep, probably a bit too much. I should clarify. I love a good long sleep, many hours of bliss when my mind wanders, my eyes flutter and, on occasion, my leg twitches as if given electroshock therapy. But a good long sleep does (more…)
Archive for the ‘Humorous Bits’ Category
investing in stocks is a tricky business
Posted: July 3, 2016 in Humorous BitsTags: advice, hangover, humor, humour, investments, naps, sleep, sleep hangover, Spinal Tap, stocks
common threads #14: decorative art (not on body)
Posted: January 29, 2014 in Humorous BitsTags: art, Common Threads, decorative art, humor, humour, life, status
Before the mid-20th century decorative art was the exception, reserved for those looking to exalt wealth and status. Back then walking through a well-appointed manor was like strolling through an eclectic gallery accompanied by a guide with the social awareness of a melon and the subtlety of a gorilla.
I was just minding my own business…
“I shot this big fella during a safari on the Serengeti two summers ago,” the host bragged while pointing at (more…)
guest blogger: ten dollar bill, serial number JC79744814A
Posted: July 27, 2013 in Humorous Bits, UncategorizedTags: 10 dollar, guest blogger, money
Many of you think us paper moneyers lead glamorous lives filled with adventure and intrigue, lives that take us to strange and exotic places, lives that brighten people’s days and accelerate their nights. Many of you assume we are surrounded by joy since you imagine everyone who comes into contact with us does so under the happiest of circumstances. I am here to tell you if that is what you imagine then your imagination is (more…)
the unintended consequences of revolution
Posted: January 3, 2013 in Humorous BitsTags: American, British, history, humor, humour, independence, language, revolution, tea, the forgotten U
The smart money says the British have moved on since losing the war for the American colonies. Holding a grudge is one thing, but holding one for 230 years is quite another and the Brits have better things to do. Sure the war was humiliating, usurped by a ragtag group of rebels using unconventional (some may even say dirty) tactics while engaging in the honor bound pastime of systematically (more…)
resolute
Posted: January 1, 2013 in Humorous BitsTags: 2013, humor, humour, life, New Year, new year resolutions, promises, truth
Personal resolutions are fine and all, but let us make this year’s resolution making season different. Forget the individual promises. Instead let us make giant group resolutions, ones which we are pre-disposed to achieve, ones which once achieved will allow us to puff out our communal chest with pride and loudly proclaim, “Yes, all of us did all of that!” Who doesn’t want to feel that sense of (more…)
zero out of one hundred doctors recommend
Posted: December 8, 2012 in Humorous BitsTags: cheese!, food, health, humor, humour, life, lunch, taco, Taco Bell
Every Friday, much to my doctor’s and Aarón Sanchez’ infinite dismay, I lunch at Taco Bell. Twas a time when this meal would include heaping servings of cheese and refried beans, for what is Mexican food without the delicious anticipation of firing up a defibrillator? It’s like Frida without Diego, Mumford without sons, aid without abet. But in a quest to be better to my body I have (more…)
hurricane checklist
Posted: October 29, 2012 in Humorous BitsTags: checklist, chocolate, humor, humour, hurricane, hurricane Sandy, Jim Cantore, life, list, not so funny, preparations, storm, vodka, weather
hurricane fortification
- Determine sources of information about storm, if any exist
- Replenish stock of non-perishable chocolate
- Replenish stock of non-perishable vodka
- Ensure flashlight works so chocolate (more…)
developing story
Posted: September 18, 2012 in Humorous Bits, New JerseyTags: bulk retailers, central New Jersey, construction, Costco, humor, humour, life, New Jersey, NJ, Route 1, shopping, stores
Several years ago Johnson and Johnson, the enormous multi-national manufacturer, closed a facility located in central New Jersey along the northbound side of Route 1 and sold the 200+ acres to the local township. The township dithered for a long time before finally agreeing upon a plan to construct a new town center on this acreage. Now how you can suddenly create a new town center in a 230 year old township is baffling. Especially when the township is (more…)
Trask Avenue 
trump: the game
Posted: July 20, 2016 in Humorous Bits, Observations and CommentaryTags: board games, games, gaming, humor, humour, life, politics, Trump
We all know Donald Trump will slap his name on anything to make a buck. And if you give him enough bucks he will let you slap his name on your stuff. We endlessly hear about his steaks, airline, vodka, bottled water, magazine, and university. His resorts peddle (more…)