When we open our mouths we New Jerseyans can be pretty easy to spot. But not for reasons you may imagine. To risk sounding mildly defensive we’re not all like the bastardized versions of the New Jersey vox populi which graces America’s reality television landscape. Despite Jerseylicious, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jersey Couture, Cake Boss, Jersey Shore and the occasional dip into Seaside Heights by MTV with one of their summer concoctions, most of us don’t tawk like dem. Sorry to report, but we basically sound like you. Unless you’re straight out of central casting for Steel Magnolias. Sure, you’ll hear an occasional Read the rest of this entry »
how to spot a new jerseyan
Posted: August 22, 2011 in Humorous Bits, New JerseyTags: accents, driving, humor, New Jersey, random, Seaside Heights, Sopranos
This is what is commonly referred to as a “Blind Desperation Post.” It’s a sticky and humid Thursday night. In less than 12 hours I’ll be back at work. During these upcoming less than 12 hours I want to accomplish several things.
– Write this frickin’ blind desperation post
– Check my Flickrworld to (a) ensure it hasn’t blown up and (b) experience a pang of regret for not having taken any photos today
– Semi-reluctantly pop onto Facebook to see if Read the rest of this entry »
letter: john ringling to harry houdini (1893)
Posted: August 15, 2011 in UncategorizedTags: 1893, circus, Houdini, in the attic, letter, Ringling Brothers, tiger
Ed. Note: Recently a large collection of mysterious artifacts was discovered in the attic of Trask Avenue. Periodically we will share what we find. This first entry is a letter from John Ringling (of Ringling Brothers Circus) to a young Harry Houdini regarding Houdini’s audition for the circus in 1893.
My dear Mr. Houdini,
During our recent stop to Coney Island you auditioned for my brothers Otto and Charles. They spoke of your desire to join our traveling circus. You performed for them an exhibition involving an assortment of escape techniques. Otto was especially keen on your exploits. He was mesmerized with your ability to slip out of handcuffs as if they were Read the rest of this entry »
I write this little poem
to kill a little time
with little inspiration
I make a little rhyme
critical thinking
Posted: July 20, 2011 in ArtsTags: hypocrisy, life, music, music critic, random, Styx
For a while back in University I considered pursuing a career as a cultural critic of some sort. I joined the student newspaper and began reviewing movies and music, throwing in an occasional sports piece for variety. Gradually, I moved away from film criticism and stuck with music. After all, as much as I enjoyed movies, I loved music even more. I took pride in my awareness of what was going on in those places the music scene was exploding, the seedy nightclubs of London, New York and Los Angeles. The fact I never went to those clubs was beside the point. I was on the Read the rest of this entry »
adventures in lo-fi
Posted: July 5, 2011 in PhotographyTags: blur, iPhone, life, low-fi, Photography, smartphone, tack-sharp
In the five years since I took up photography as a hobby I’ve learned a few things. Not many, but a few. One of the basic nuggets which penetrated through the many layers of dense membrane is the concept – dare I say the goal – of producing “tack-sharp” photographs. In simple language (always a sure bet with me) tack-sharp refers to the sharpness, or crispness, of an image. It’s a term bandied about by professional photographers and enthusiastic enthusiasts.
Tack-sharp photographs, the kind you’ll find in the likes of National Geographic , Condé Nast Traveler or in many print advertisements, are free of Read the rest of this entry »
adjusting to a brave new world
Posted: June 27, 2011 in Humorous BitsTags: apps, hip, iPhone, modern, Pippa, random, smartphone, technology, vindaloo chicken
This past weekend I finally took the plunge into the world of multi-functional handheld devices. No, I didn’t get a pen that doubles as a laser pointer. Nor did I purchase a plastic egg containing the wildly versatile Silly Putty. (It stretches! It bounces! It copies ink off newspapers!) As much fun as those things are, I ventured in a different direction, plunging headfirst into 2011 with an iPhone4. What an amazing device! Let me tell you, there’s nothing like Read the rest of this entry »
don’t forget the cigarettes
Posted: June 21, 2011 in FictionTags: cigarette, fiction, flash fiction, Krauszers, Photography, writing
“Linda.”
Not now, not right when my show is coming on. Maybe if I pretend I don’t hear him, the meds will Read the rest of this entry »
my television mocks me
Posted: June 10, 2011 in Humorous BitsTags: ghosts in the machine, humor, obsolete, random, technology, television
Our television (named Philip after his manufacturer daddy) is possessed which, while weird, is far better than repossessed. Repossessed would be downright tragic – and totally without merit since that sucker was completely paid for before leaving the store. As our accountant friends would say, “Philip is in the black.”
In the black. They don’t know how right they are.
If Philip is on for a certain amount of time – and that length of time is a subject of debate among his primary viewers – he will suddenly turn off. *Poof!* Silence and a black screen followed by a mad scramble to find the correct remote and get him flickering again, a scene not unlike one you’d witness at the Running of the Bulls.
We don’t know why Philip decides to Read the rest of this entry »
Trask Avenue 
ridin’ the wave
Posted: August 23, 2011 in Observations and CommentaryTags: earth mover, earthquake, New Jersey, news, shake rattle and roll, vodka
The earthquake hit a little before 2:00 p.m. I was prepping for a work meeting and messing with Excel. (Do you know the best way to mess with Excel? Whenever you speak to it, call it Lotus 1-2-3! Buddum bump!) Suddenly, my desk glided back and forth like a marble released into a curved bowl. As if that wasn’t enough the ground did what can only be described as Mother Nature’s version of Read the rest of this entry »